To Forget
by devozione
Summary: Just after what happened to her father, Mitsuru is in bad need to of someone to share her emotions with, Yukari is more than willing to do so ...
1. Chapter 1

_This is my very first attempt at writing fan-fiction and I appreciate any advice and critique. I'm also a Johnny (or Joanne XD) Foreigner, so please feel free to correct my English._

_So yeah ,lesbian pairing, if that for some reason disgusts you, don't bother to read. Maybe someone's getting the few references to ingame phrases that annoyed me after a while :D_

I

To forget. She wanted to forget. That was all she wanted – but couldn't.

Last night, in the Dark Hour, Mitsuru had witnessed her father's death. It had happened right in front of her eyes, yet there was nothing she could do. She had been tied to a cross, ready to be sacrificed. Hanging there, already in despair, she saw the ultimate mission of hers fail – to protect her father. He alone had been bearing the responsibility for the mistakes his own father had committed. And that although he had not been involved; he had not done anything bad. Still, he took all blame for what happened back then. Mitsuru had always admired her father for his braveness and responsibility. Although he was a rather distanced man, she really loved her father – so much, in fact, that it had led to the awakening of her persona. Her love for her father was what had started S.E.E.S. in the first place.

But now, after what had happened last night, Mitsuru had fallen into a deep, deep hole. A hole filled with sadness and despair, with reproach and aimless anger. She couldn't understand it – how did she fail at what was most important to her? Her very reason to fight – it was gone. There was no reason to carry on, no mission to be fulfilled. Defeating the twelve shadows, what she had believed to be the right mission, had not led to the extinction of the Dark Hour. Moreover, it had led to her father's death.

There was not one moment in which there weren't any horrible memories, terrible pictures or self-accusations chasing Mitsuru. Nothing, absolutely nothing could distract her. She hadn't slept a minute and was suffering from fatigue, yet she was unable to find enough mental peace to rest. Mitsuru, the ever-so-perfect student council president, was in a bad condition – eyes as red as her hair from crying, her hair a mess, deep rings under the half-closed eyes. She knew there were many things to take care of, now that she was practically the head of the Kirijo group. The next days, she would have meetings with the board of managers, who she intended to make the leaders of the group as long as she was still attending school. She was absolutely not in the mood for meeting them – in her state of mournfulness, she'd rather see nobody at all. However, things had to be done and she was going to just get through with it.

Mitsuru bent over the bathroom sink and splashed some cold water into her face to cool down. After a moment of shock from the cold, she looked at herself in the mirror above the sink. Water was running down her forehead, gathered in her eyebrows, and eventually ran down her face like a tear. With an expression between serious and almost disturbingly neutral, she traced the water down her face. "If I was to hold the meeting in pouring rain, no one would be able to recognize I was crying", she thought. A blink of an eye later, she had dismissed the thought as utterly stupid. All it would take her was self-control – and that was something she truly did possess. With a sigh, she dried her face in a towel and went on to fix her hair. She was determined to make a perfect appearance, both visually and emotionally. After checking herself in the mirror once more, Mitsuru grabbed her travel bag and left for the Kirijo group headquarters.

A week of exhausting work had passed. Many things had been taken care of, appearances made, statements published. The Kirijo group was being stabilized by now, ready to run without Mitsuru's father as head. The deceased president's daughter was lying on her hotel bed. The room was big and of modern interior, yet emitted a subtle feeling of luxury. With empty eyes, Mitsuru stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. She had no idea how long she had been lying there. After the last meeting, she had gone straight to her room and had fallen onto the bed, without getting changed. Since then, she hadn't moved an inch. Her body had begun to feel numb after a while, she didn't care. Never in her life had she felt this lonely. Although she was an only child and her mother had died early in her childhood, there was always her father around to watch her; though in his distant and reserved manner. Then, there were the other student council members. The other fencing club members. The other S.E.E.S. members. But now, she felt as if there was no one to turn to, no one to share her pain with, no one who'd understand her feelings. Hopelessness and sadness seemed to suffocate her. Or were it just tears that had been collected but not led out? Mitsuru remembered that she hadn't been crying at all in the past week. She had not felt as if she was able to. Even now that she was alone, the tears were there but wouldn't flow. She wondered what could be causing this condition of hers. Was she restricting herself? There was no reason to do so, she was alone in her room. It felt as if there was a knot inside her that shut her throat and didn't allow her to cry – or really talk to anyone about how she felt. Not talk to anyone … Had she spoken with any of her friends about the tragic event? She hadn't. Why, yes, it was the real cause of her feeling of loneliness – that she did not open up to anyone about it. Mitsuru sighed at her own realization: opening up to others really was not her strength. But it was no use – if she kept to herself like this, she would probably explode. She sighed as she set up on her bed. And now? She had decided to open up to someone, but was in the middle of a lifeless hotel room, without anyone she really knew nearby. Upon trying to move her leg, Mitsuru noticed something uncomfortably edgy touching her thigh. It was her mobile phone, which had been there all the time, causing her leg to fall asleep. She took it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. There was a text message from Takeba: "We hope that you'll be fine and look forward to you return. Greetings from the SEES-Team!" Mitsuru smiled half a smile. It was really kind of S.E.E.S. to think of her like that. Once more, this convinced her she would not be left alone with her problems. Over the various problems and dangers they had overcome, the S.E.E.S. members had grown really close to each other. Mitsuru looked at her phone again. The message from Takeba was still opened. Her phoned offered her the option of directly calling Takeba. She hesitated. Would it be okay to bother the younger S.E.E.S. member with her problems? Wasn't it better to call Akihiko? Then again, he was probably training at this time. And after Shinjiro's death, Akihiko had developed a "Just move on, this is how he would have wanted it."-attitude which Mitsuru found admirable – but it really was not what she needed right now. Takeba's sensibility seemed more suited for the situation. Mitsuru Kirijo plucked up her courage and chose call.


	2. Chapter 2

II

… The phone was ringing. Once. Twice. Many times. "Hello, this is Yukari Takeba's voice mail. If you – " Mitsuru hung up. She most definitely was not in the mood to leave any messages for anyone. Her initial motivation was about to break away. She could still call Yamagishi. She was sensible and always seemed to be receptive to other people's problems. She reached for the phone again in order to call Yamagishi – but the very moment her fingertips touched it, the phone began ringing. She winced shortly in surprise but then looked to see who was calling. It was Takeba. After a split second of hesitating, Mitsuru answered the call.

"This Mitsuru Kirijo, good afternoon."

"Hi Mitsuru, this is Yukari. I noticed you just called but I was under the shower and I couldn't reach the phone in time."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt. The call was not of striking importance, so feel free to continue the shower."

"Nah, it's okay. Now I'm outta the shower anyway. So, what's up?"

"…"

"Mitsuru, is everything alright?"

"I-I'm sorry. I just ... felt an urge to speak to someone."

"You mean about what happened?"

"Yes. I don't like to admit it but it still bothers me a great deal. I think talking about it might make feel a bit relieved."

"Well, yeah, sure. You can always talk to me when you're not feeling well. But, Senpai, why don't we meet somewhere and talk there? You know, I might catch a cold if I don't put any clothes on."

"Y-You're not dressed??" Mitsuru blushed at the thought. How she had invaded Takeba's privacy. "Alright. Where should we meet?"

"Uhm, I think Chagall Café might be nice. When can you be there?"

"In half an hour, see you there."

As she hung up, Mitsuru felt slightly confused. Of course, she had wished to be heard, that was what she had called Takeba for. But this was still a little overwhelming. And had she just blushed at the thought of Takeba not being dressed? How very rude this had been of her. She shook her head. Apparently, Takeba didn't bother much. If at all. So Mitsuru decided she'd better get ready in order to be in Paulownia Mall in half an hour.

As Mitsuru entered Paulownia Mall, she was unusually nervous. Usually, she was very calm and serious; she was too professional to be nervous. This time, however, was different. Because of reasons unknown to her, she felt an unpleasant tingling sensation and a little uncertainty of how to act. "What's the matter?", she asked herself "I'm only meeting Takeba. She's my dorm mate, it's normal for me to be around her." This did little to console her nerves – the reason for her nervousness was not Takeba. Mitsuru was afraid of openly talking about herself. This was nothing she was used to, she'd normally keep pretty much everything to herself.

Mitsuru entered the café and took a look around. She couldn't see Takeba anywhere, so she took seat at a table with two seats to wait for her. Takeba arrived a couple of minutes later, obviously in a hurry. She rushed to where Mitsuru was sitting and made a small bow.

"I'm sorry for being late, Senpai. Getting dressed and styled and all took me longer than I thought."

Mitsuru couldn't find anything about Takeba that looked different from her normal appearance. A second later, she already felt ashamed for staring at Takeba like that. "Don't worry, I haven't been here for long. Please, take a seat."

Takeba quickly sat down and, upon being asked by the waitress, ordered two pheromone coffee. "Eh, was that right, Senpai? I assumed you – "

"It's just right, thank you."

"Oh, okay. So, how was the week?"

"It was … pretty exhausting. There was a lot to be taken care of."

"No, I mean – how have you been feeling, you know, because of your father?"

"…" Mitsuru sighed. "His loss still saddens me a lot. I cannot believe how I failed to save him. Protecting my father was my reason to fight the Shadows – but now … I don't see any sense in all this anymore. "

"But that's not your fault. We were all blinded by the chairman's lies, no one suspected a thing. There is no reason for you to feel guilty."

"It's too late. My ultimate mission has failed."

"Don't think that! If you give up now, it's all been in vain! The responsibility of your father, your fighting … Don't let the Shadows win now! This isn't what your father would have wanted … or mine."

The coffee arrived and filled the air with its pleasant smell.

"You're right Takeba. I apologize for not remembering that you already lost your father. This was very tactless of me."

"No, Senpai, it's okay. Your loss is very acute, it's only normal that at the moment, it overshadows everything else. But you may not give up, okay? It's for the memory of our fathers." Takeba took a sip from her coffee. She seemed to combine determination and relaxation with ease.

"Thank you very much", Mitsuru said "Talking about this was a great relief. Now that I had to withhold my emotions all the time while I was meeting the board of managers, it felt as if I was going to burst."

"It's a good thing you talked, Senpai. Withholding emotions makes you sick, you know." Takeba stared into her coffee cup.

Mitsuru wondered what had given her this concerned, almost bitter expression all of a sudden but also didn't want to bother her further. She had already done a lot for her, so the both of them drank the rest of their coffee in silence.

Mitsuru paid the bill, forbidding Takeba to pay her own coffee. As Mitsuru had no business with the board of managers anymore, she decided to return to the dorm with Takeba. Talking to her had indeed been a relief but still, she just wanted to be alone at the moment and withdrew to her room. Once again, she was lying on her bed, deep in thought. "It's for the memory of our fathers", Takeba had said. She felt a lot of honesty and truth in those words, especially coming from Takeba who had lost her father in her early childhood – because of the Kirijo group's twisted activities. Mitsuru felt as if the responsibility for her grandfather's mistakes was now hers to bear. She felt horrible all of a sudden. Having to stand up for this frightened her. Mitsuru was a very responsible person but this seemed too much for her. Especially because she now felt guilty for the death of Takeba's father and all the sorrow it had caused for his daughter. In almost physical pain, Mitsuru writhed on her bed. She heard someone knocking on the door and wanted to say "Please leave me alone" – but she couldn't. When she tried to speak, only a strange gurgling left her throat. The visitor had apparently interpreted this as a "Come in", the door opened – and Takeba entered.


	3. Chapter 3

III

"Senpai, are you okay? You don't look good at all."

"I … - ", Mitsuru tried to respond but there seemed to be a knot closing her throat: She couldn't speak. It was all too much for her to take. She sat up on her bed to face Takeba. Looking into Takeba's concerned face, Mitsuru felt that she was losing control over herself – her eyes filled with tears, her body felt incredibly tense. Takeba laid a hand on Mitsuru's shoulder and just said: "Let it out." There was no way Mitsuru could hold back any longer: She began to cry bitterly, every tear she had held back the last week ran down her face. Her whole face was wet, her eyes burning and red – she cried on and on. Takeba slightly stroked over Mitsuru's shoulder, who had almost forgot about Takeba's presence.

Mitsuru didn't hold back anything anymore – she threw herself into Takeba's arms, shaking heavily. Takeba, not expecting her Senpai to attack her like that, almost fell backwards down the bed. She struggled a bit to regain balance and then, carefully, unassertively, put her arms around Mitsuru. She blushed – she hadn't thought she'd ever come this close to her otherwise distant Senpai. The two of them remained like while Mitsuru cried and cried for a long time. When she had calmed down a bit, she lifted her face of Takeba's shoulder. She still sobbed and her nose was running.

"I'll fetch you a handkerchief", said Takeba and disappeared into the bathroom. Mitsuru wiped the tears of her face with her sleeve and tried to regain control of her eyes. Takeba returned and handed her a handkerchief. After using it, Mitsuru had collected herself almost completely.

"Oh", she noticed "Your shoulder is all wet. I'm sorry."

With a short look onto her shoulder, Takeba apparently decided not to care. "Do you feel better now?", she inquired.

"Yes, a lot. I haven't been crying the whole week, it was a great relief.." Mitsuru looked onto the bed. "It's just that … everything came together: my father's death, the chairman's betrayal, the responsibility for Kirijo group's mistakes …"

"Responsibility … ?"

"Yes. Now that my father is deceased, I will take responsibility … for what happened to your father …"

"Senpai … " Takeba looked into Mitsuru's eyes. A tear slowly left Mitsuru's eye. Takeba slowly, painfully slowly raised a hand, hesitated shortly and then laid the hand on Mitsuru's face, using her thumb to wipe away the tear. Mitsuru was stunned with surprise and just looked at Takeba with wide open eyes. Quickly, Takeba drew away her hand, blushed and looked down onto the bed. Had that really happened or was she maybe hallucinating, Mitsuru wondered. She wasn't certain about how to react. It had been unexpected and she had no idea what Takeba wanted to express with it. However, it hadn't been unpleasant. Her hand had been very soft and warm. Before Mitsuru could do anything to react, Takeba rose to her feet, cried: "Senpai, forgive me!" and rushed out of the door. Even more confused, Mitsuru stared at the door Takeba just had disappeared through. What had that been? She didn't understand a thing. She shook her head to clear her mind and decided that after dining, she would go to bed immediately.

The next day, Mitsuru and Takeba didn't see much of each other. Takeba went to school as usual and Mitsuru didn't leave her room much, still not restored to a more optimistic mood. She sulked around, not doing anything really until night fell. After dinner, she took a shower and after that sat on her bed, reading a book.

Suddenly, the door opened without a noise and Takeba slipped in. Mitsuru didn't notice her until she stood at her bed, with a red head and looking at the floor.

"Senpai … I'm sorry." She spoke in a low voice, almost a whisper. There was nothing to apologize for and Mitsuru wanted to point that out – but she didn't get the opportunity to do so, as Takeba sat down on her bed next to her. She looked Mitsuru in the eyes and whispered again "Sorry." Mitsuru just watched as Takeba laid a hand on Mitsuru's cheek and then slowly moved her face towards Mitsuru's. At third time, she whispered "Sorry." and kissed Mitsuru softly on the lips. It was a really short kiss and Takeba looked away after it. Mitsuru was speechless – had Takeba just kissed her?! She looked at Takeba but she avoided eye contact and looked as if she was on the verge of tears. Carefully, Mitsuru touched Takeba's arm. She had no idea what was going on with Takeba but it hurt to see her as sad as this.

"Senpai … Senpai – I'm sorry … I'm so sorry." Takeba's voice was thick with tears.

Mitsuru put her hand on Takeba's shoulder in an attempt to turn her towards her. "It's alright … everything's fine."

"Senpai, I …"

"It's okay." Mitsuru gave Takeba a little hug. Having Takeba this close, Mitsuru sensed her smell, which was pleasant and a little alluring. In response to the hug, Takeba laid an arm around Mitsuru's waist. The touch caused a tingling sensation in her and she closed her eyes to concentrate on it. Takeba's and her head were so close she could hear her breathing heavily; she also noticed her own breath being more heavy than usual. Both of them remained still for a while, not daring to move. Mitsuru was now entirely confused – she didn't quite understand Takeba's intention, she didn't understand her apologies – and she didn't understand that, although the situation was slightly awkward, Mitsuru didn't want it to end. Takeba took a deep breath; she moved her head to Mitsuru's neck, who could now feel Takeba's warm breath on her skin.

This was becoming a little too intimate for Mitsuru – she wanted to comfort Takeba, but these kinds of actions were scandalous, between two women on top of that! Mitsuru felt Takeba's lips softly touching her neck – for a split second, she wanted to push Takeba away. But then, the pleasant feeling in her neck won her over. In vain, her mind struggled to convince her body that this was by no means acceptable, that she should stop it. She felt like her whole body was glowing with heat as she tilted her head back and let out a sigh of pleasure. It was as if Takeba's touch had sent a jolt of electricity through her body. It was shivering and tingling with excitement and she was under the impression that, subconsciously, she long had wished for this. She laid a hand on the back of Takeba's head, hoping this would make her go on. Carefully, she ran a finger through the hair. It had a very nice feeling to it, so she went on to stroke it with her whole hand. Takeba touched Mitsuru's neck slightly with the tip of her nose and went up to her jaw line. Mitsuru was breathing heavily and pressed Takeba against herself. Her ratio was still helplessly witnessing what the longing of her body made her do. She couldn't await Takeba kissing her again, she almost hungered for it. It was as if a fever had suddenly come over her that made her desire things she normally would not tolerate, that made her sweat and pant, that made her dig her fingers almost painfully into Takeba's hair. When Takeba's lips had finally touched Mitsuru's skin again, she moaned loudly and felt like she was going to melt from the heat that had taken over her body. Takeba was slowly making her way up to Mitsuru's chin, becoming more passionate with each kiss.

Shortly before Takeba had reached the tip of Mitsuru's chin, Mitsuru let go of the hair and placed her hand on Takeba's cheek, turning her head to face hers. The look the both exchanged was incredibly intense, a mixture of pleasure, desire and guilt. Hesitantly, Mitsuru laid her thump on Takeba's lips and ran it over them. Takeba closed her eyes and smiled. Mitsuru was almost shaking from confusion and attraction, she could hear her fast heartbeat throbbing in her ears. Enchanted, she stared at Takeba's lips, admiring their colour, their form, their touch. In a matter of fifteen minutes, they had become the center of her world. She leaned closer into the hug, she trembled as she moved her lips towards Takeba's. Millimeters before them, she hesitated – were her lips as warm and soft as Takeba's? Never had she been thinking about that – what if they were dry or she had a bad breath? It took her a few moments to overcome her doubts, which she dismissed as ridiculous – no doubt was strong enough to stand up against the hunger that built up inside her. Finally, she brought her move to an end and her lips met Takeba's. Waves of pleasure she never could have imagined before floated through Mitsuru's body. She wrapped her free arm around Takeba's waist in order to draw their bodies as close to each other as possible. Playfully exploring Takeba's mouth with her tongue must have been the most exciting thing Mitsuru had ever done, she couldn't get enough of it.

Takeba slowly broke the kiss and held Mitsuru's face in her hands. "Senpai, I gotta go. We've got a meeting at the archery club."

"You don't have to call me Senpai."

"Only if you call me Yukari."

Mitsuru smiled "Yes … Yukari."

Takeba gave Mitsuru a kiss on the forehead and disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

IV

Once again, Mitsuru found herself staring at the door through which Yukari had left. She was slowly waking up from the spell the intimate scene with Yukari had bestowed upon her. There was a tumult in her body, all sorts of different feeling were clashing against each other. Lust, confusion, arousal, regret, happiness, guilt. Her head and her heart were about to explode from the overdose of emotions, so she buried her head in her pillows and closed her eyes. She took a few deep breaths and tried to collect herself. What had she just happened to her? Moreover, what had she done herself? Mitsuru felt dizzy when she thought about it – how could she possibly have lost control of herself, in such a scandalous way? If anyone was ever to know this, what would it do to the integrity of the Kirijo group's heiress? She buried her head deeper into the pillows – what a shame! Her whole body was still trembling; was it because of the embarrassment or because of this ... fever that had come over her? Mitsuru felt very warm and sweaty. She sat up on her bed and opened the first button of her shirt so she would get a bit more fresh air. Her fingers ran over the now exposed skin of her throat, down to the button-facing of her shirt. Again, there was this little shiver which seemed to be caused by a jolt of pleasure. Mitsuru had to stop herself. No more. All would return to normal now; she'd forget about the incident and just move on. One had to set priorities in life, and as a Kirijo, guilty pleasures certainly were not among them. Intimacy was nothing to be fooled around with. Mitsuru had to think of the one she had been promised to. A leader of a concern with which they wanted a positive relationship. A marriage between her and the manager would secure the Kirijo group's future. "What will it be like with him?", Mitsuru wondered. The man was much older than she was; he probably had had more experiences than she had. Mitsuru had spent most of her teenage years with this marriage on her mind, so she had never dared to enter a relationship. She didn't have any experiences at all. "Tch," she thought "Being so naive when it comes to that – it's not like me!" ... Wait, no experiences? Mitsuru shuddered. Most certainly, this had been an experience. But no, no, this didn't count. It couldn't. Yukari and she were ... girls, after all. It had been a mere accident. Nothing more. They had just been very touched and confused by subject of their fathers.

Mitsuru tried to continue her lecture but had to admit that it was impossible for her to concentrate. She put the book away and got up with a sigh. What a mess her clothes were – she went to the bathroom to fix herself. In the mirror, yet the next shock awaited her. It was on her neck, exactly the place where Yukari had placed her most passionate kiss. Mitsuru felt as if she just had been branded. Physical evidence of what had happened, could it become any worse? After disguising it as good as possible with make-up, Mitsuru put on a scarf to hide it from the others. Fortunately, it wasn't summer, when a scarf may have raised suspicion. Prepared like this, Mitsuru went out of her room. She didn't even hope there would be no one in the lounge – there was always someone around. Walking Korumaru was probably the easiest way to get out of there as quick and most unsuspicious as possible. No one would ask any questions – it would look as if she just needed time alone because of her father. Wordless, she led Korumaru outside, a few pairs of eyes following them – but she didn't care. They walked to the shrine as always, however, it was unusual for Mitsuru to be out with Korumaru. Playing with animals hadn't been part of her strict upbringing. Korumaru ran off happily as soon as the shrine came into sight; Mitsuru followed with normal speed. She sat down on a bench at the shrine. Hopefully, the darkness and silence surrounding her now would allow her tortured mind some peace and rest. "Just an accident, it was just an accident," she kept telling herself. There wouldn't be any consequences – for sure, Yukari was embarrassed by her actions as well; which was probably why she left all of a sudden. They'd just silently agree to forget what happened. That would be the best solution. Korumaru sat down at Mitsuru's feet and tilted his head, as if he felt that something bothered Mitsuru. Carefully, Mitsuru stroked Korumaru's fur. It was short but very thick and soft. However, Mitsuru preferred the touch of Yukari's hair. Mitsuru looked up in shock – she thought of her again. She shook her head to make the thought go away and headed back to the dorm with Korumaru.

Mitsuru had changed to her pyjamas and was lying under the sheets of her bed. Only a small light next to her bed was still on, creating interesting plays of light and shadow on the bed room walls. The air was chilly and she snuggled more into her bed to save her from getting cold. Her bed was big enough for at least two people and she suddenly felt lost, all alone in the middle of it. From childhood on, she had been sleeping in beds like this, this was however the first time she felt that way. So many emotions unknown to her before had been awakened by the incident; Mitsuru hoped this impact would only be temporary. She turned off the light and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. She knew there was no way she'd be able to.

Mitsuru was haunted by images that would keep coming to her mind, that she couldn't stop, that made her move around restlessly in her bed. No matter how much she'd force her thoughts away, they'd always come back to one thing: Yukari. Mitsuru felt ashamed and guilty. Those things certainly should not be on her mind – she was already promised to somebody, her discipline shouldn't allow her to desire somebody like that, especially not a woman! She felt, however, a certain enjoyment in the fact that this kind of thinking wasn't acceptable to her – being forbidden only made it more alluring. After all, she couldn't deny that, despite all the shame and guilt, thinking of Yukari filled her with a kinky sort of pleasure and arousal. She had ruled off what happened this evening as a mere coincident, a one-of-a-kind event that was just a result of unusual circumstances. But what where those thoughts of Yukari doing to this explanation? Was she just being tempted by the immoral, the forbidden – or was there really … ?

It would be too early to jump at conclusion now, Mitsuru decided. She'd sleep a night or two over it and then recollect her thoughts. This would probably make her able to think clear again; now she was still too confused to really analyse what had happened. Until then, it was no use fighting off the strange thoughts that made her head buzz with confusion; she could as well give in … Mitsuru arranged the sheets and pillows she had turned into a mess in her fights against the images in proper order again. She made herself as comfortable as possible and, after a bit of embarrassed hesitation, hugged a pillow like a stuffed animal. This time, she didn't fight off the images but channelled them, allowing her imagination to completely take her away. Once again, she felt warmth spreading out in her body, though it wasn't as sudden and extreme heat as the first time. Yukari appeared in front of her mental eye, she was coming closer to Mitsuru and closed her arms around her. Mitsuru tightened the hug around the pillow as she imagined hugging Yukari back. Yukari ran her hands down Mitsuru's arms and took her hands; lifting her face of Mitsuru's shoulder and snuggling it against the other's cheek. Mitsuru had to smile at the imagined cuteness of the situation – she wouldn't have expected herself to enjoy such things. She closed her eyes again to continue the daydream. Her cheek was tingling; she searched for Yukari's lips, longing to unite with them. Being completely caught up in her fantasy, Mitsuru didn't even notice how she slowly drifted off into sleep …


	5. Chapter 5

V

When she woke up, Mitsuru was still holding the pillow. She had no idea when she had fallen asleep or how long she had been sleeping. All she really knew was that there was an incredibly big desire in her. She wanted to be with Yukari, right now. She wanted to see her, hear her, smell her, touch her. Every sense of her was in need of Yukari. There was no way her ratio could tell her to stop, it was like her body got out of bed all on its own, driven by the cry of her body for the other girl. Still in her pyjamas, she made her way to the door, as if in trance. She didn't care about getting dressed or that someone might see her; her mind was solemnly focused on getting to Yukari. Fortunately for her, Yukari's room was close to hers; she only had to plod a few steps over there. Would she bother knocking before she entered? She saw little sense in that – intruding in the middle of the night was shamefully rude, regardless of the knocking. Mitsuru took in a deep breath and silently opened the door to Yukari's room.

Inside, it was completely dark. Mitsuru could see almost nothing, she could hardly recognize the bed. Carefully making her way through the room, Mitsuru walked towards the bed. The tension in her whole body almost made her rip into pieces; her hands were shaking. When she had reached the bed, she was able to hear Yukari breathing peacefully, she was apparently deep in sleep. What Mitsuru could see of her in the dark was extremely cute: Yukari had almost completely rolled up in sleep, lying in her bed like a young kitten. Mitsuru slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. It was almost a pity to wake Yukari up when she was sleeping in such a cute position, but there was no way she could resist her longing anymore. Hopefully being woken up wouldn't be that frightening to Yukari. Mitsuru laid a hand on Yukari's arm and said "Hey … it's me" - but before she could finish the sentence, Yukari jumped up in her bed. Her eyes were wide open with surprise, she looked at Mitsuru as if she had seen a ghost. For a moment, neither of them could find words that would suit the situation. Then, Yukari asked, in a very low voice, "What's going on, Senpai? Is something wrong?" Instead of giving an answer, Mitsuru put her arms around Yukari who almost let out a cry of surprise but then returned the hug. Mitsuru was holding Yukari very close to her and has rested her face on her shoulder. She took in a deep breath – she couldn't get enough of Yukari's smell; it seemed sweeter than the finest perfume to her. Yukari tightened her grip on her waist as Mitsuru softly kissed her neck. In return, Yukari planted a row of kisses on Mitsuru's neck. Mitsuru wished she could remain in this position forever; her senses were seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling Yukari. Was she maybe going to burst from so much excitement? She drew Yukari even closer to her. They were so close that they could feel each other's heart beat. Gently, Mitsuru bit Yukari's neck – Yukari clasped Mitsuru's hair and let out a little cry of pleasure. That was apparently a good spot, so Mitsuru continued to kiss and nibble on it. Suddenly, Yukari grabbed Mitsuru's face, drew it to hers and kissed her. Mitsuru was a bit startled by the sudden movement but quickly gave in to the kiss. This was the most passionate kiss the both had shared so far. When they broke it, Yukari slowly stroke Mitsuru's cheek and looked into her eyes. The look in her eyes was warm and soft but there was a certain thing to it that promised more.

Mitsuru softly rubbed her nose against Yukari's and smiled – this was going to be the best night of her life. She slowly led a hand down Yukari's throat, over her collarbone, onto her chest. With a lot of caution, she proceeded to one of Yukari's breasts. She didn't want to appear like a pervert by grabbing them. With her index finger, she slowly traced circles on the breast, ending on the nipple. Gaining more confidence from Yukari's little moans, she took her other hand to caress both breasts. They felt incredibly soft – Mitsuru was quite surprised, after all, they weren't much different from her own. But it was a completely different feeling touching them, an intense feeling which made her body tense with excitement. She knew she wanted more of that. As she bent forward to kiss Yukari, she moved her hands up to the top of the button of Yukari's pyjama. Yukari laid her hands on the back of Mitsuru's head and drew her towards her as if she never wanted to let go of her again. After fuddling around a bit, Mitsuru managed to open of the first button of Yukari's pyjama. In the first second, she was actually proud of herself for having made it that far. Because Mitsuru didn't want to break the kiss, she ran her fingers all over Yukari's now exposed skin to find the second button. Her skin was so soft to the touch, it felt almost like silk. A sudden rush of joy overcame Mitsuru and she threw herself into the arms of her silk-skinned lover, throwing her down on the bed. Yukari broke the kiss out of surprise, but she wouldn't let go of Mitsuru's head and looked at her with wide open eyes. Mitsuru playfully caressed Yukari's cheek with her thumb, chuckled and moved her head to Yukari's ear. "I came here tonight because all I could think about was you", she whispered and gave Yukari's earlobe a little kiss. Yukari smiled a big smile and had tears in her eyes, she seemed overwhelmed. She just looked at Mitsuru, almost unable to believe what she just heard. Mitsuru was now kneeling over Yukari, she moved her thumb along Yukari's jawline and up to her lips. Softly, Yukari kissed Mitsuru's thumb but then suddenly drew Mitsuru towards her and kissed her. For the first time in several minutes, she let go of Mitsuru's head and let her hands wander down Mitsuru's body. First onto her shoulders, over them and down her back, following the curve her waist formed to the end of Mitsuru's pyjama shirt. She carefully moved it up Mitsuru's back a bit and then slid her hands under it. Mitsuru sighed in pleasure through her sealed lips as Yukari's hands touched her skin. They felt very warm and exactly in the right place there. Yukari would leave her hands there for a few moments admiring how wonderful Mitsuru's skin felt under her fingers. Then she moved her hands a few inches to hold Mitsuru's hips. She could never have imagined how arousing it was to feel those hips; she ran her fingers over them again and again. More heat began to build up in Mitsuru's body as Yukari caressed her hips, like a heavy fever – that, together with the the tingling sensation between her legs, was almost making her go crazy, making her burst from arousal. She continued to search for the buttons of Yukari's shirt and this time, she was successful. Much faster than the first one, she opened button after button until she had completely unbuttoned the shirt. Yukari wasn't wearing a bra – for the first time, Mitsuru saw her breasts exposed. She hoped she hadn't rushed it too much for Yukari but she didn't seem to mind at all, continuing higher up Mitsuru's back. Mitsuru stared at Yukari's naked breasts – she had never seen the breasts of another woman before! They were really beautiful to her, the proportions seemed aesthetically perfect, the skin like porcelain. Carefully, as if she was going to break them otherwise, she touched one with a finger, then two, then her whole hand. The skin contracted under her touch – her fingers had to be cold compared to it. To warm it up, she began massaging it gently. Yukari seemed to be enjoying it a lot, she closed her eyes and moaned considerably louder than before. Mitsuru was starting to get worried someone might hear them but a look at Yukari's face in almost ecstatic pleasure made her forget her worries instantly.

Her kisses made their way down Yukari's neck, over her collarbone and torso to her breast. The first kiss Mitsuru planted on it was long and tender, then followed by a row of little, soft kisses that formed a spiral way around Yukari's breast. When she had reached her goal, Mitsuru stuck out the tip of her tongue and carefully gave the nipple a little lick, then another one and, upon sensing Yukari's pleased reaction, she closed her lips around it and began to suck on it. Although she didn't let Yukari notice, Mitsuru felt slightly alienated – wasn't the similarity to a child drinking milk too off-putting? Mitsuru couldn't help but wonder and had stopped without even noticing until Yukari pressed Mitsuru's head lightly in the direction of her breast and, breathing heavily, asked her to continue. Immediately, Mitsuru took up the sucking again, more confident this time. Although this was her first experience with a women, even her first sexual experience in general, it seemed she was doing a lot of things right. She blushed a little because of this silly, self-applauding thought. "The blush suits you, redhead", Yukari said unexpectedly. Mitsuru raised her head and looked at Yukari in surprise. With a laugh, Yukari affirmed "Your cheeks are turning all rosy, it looks cute." Now Mitsuru smiled back, moved to Yukari's side and hugged her "You don't realize how cute you look when blushing yourself, do you?" - "Not as cute as you!"

Yukari began opening Mitsuru's shirt. A hint of embarrassment arose in Mitsuru – were her breasts as beautiful as Yukari's? She had never given that any thought before. Was the skin good? Were there visible tan lines? She tried to control her nervousness, closed her eyes and put her hands on Yukari's hips. As Yukari's lips began caressing her breasts, all her worries just fell off her; the pleasant feeling consumed her entire mind. Mitsuru bit her lip to keep herself from moaning loud, biting it harder and harder with the increasing excitement. She knew breasts were a sensitive area but she had never expected the feeling to be this intense. She grabbed Yukari's shoulder, dragging her towards her with more energy than she herself had expected. Yukari used to moment of surprise to get on top of Mitsuru, who clung to Yukari's shoulders as if she was going to fall into a pit when letting go. Holding Mitsuru's breasts with her hands, Yukari began to explore Mitsuru's stomach. First, she ran her nose lightly over the skin, then her lip, describing circles around Mitsuru's belly button. The first kiss was placed between the breasts, a line of kisses down the torso followed. With each of it, Mitsuru had more problems keeping her voice down, more and more little cries of enjoyment escaped her lips. To silence herself, she pulled up Yukari and kissed her passionately. Upon giving into the kiss, Yukari lied down carefully on Mitsuru so their breasts touched lightly. The soft touch sent a pleasant shiver down Mitsuru's spine who held Yukari's face in her hands as if she didn't want it to move away. Their lips hesitantly parted and they looked at each other. Both were heavily blushed from excitement and they were breathing heavily. Mitsuru felt even more feverish than before, her heart was beating incredibly fast. Yukari tenderly put a streak of hair that had fallen into Mitsuru's face behind her ear and smiled. The smile had to be the most angelic thing Mitsuru ever saw, making her glaze teary-eyed at the other girl. And to think that a few days ago, she never would have imagined to find herself in this situation – much less to desire being in it.

She ran her hand over Yukari's cheek and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. In the lowest and calmest voice that her excitement allowed her, she whispered, "You're amazing." Yukari kissed her softly "Same goes for you." They smiled at each other and Mitsuru had to giggle a little. It was really unbelievable – how she never would have thought herself capable of such closeness, how unsuspecting she was of Yukari's affection for her, how fast this whole matter had evolved. The thought alone made her dizzy, dizzier than she already was from the heat of arousal building up more and more inside her. Never had she been this intimate with a human – it was so exciting, what she had missed! She nibbled softly on Yukari's neck, knowing it as a weak spot by now. A notable shiver ran over Yukari's back and she smiled as she got on her knees and pulled Mitsuru up with her. They embraced each other tightly, breathing heavily and savouring in the other one's smell. Yukari ran her hands down Mitsuru's back and slowly lifted her head off Mitsuru's shoulder. She kissed Mitsuru softly on the lips but then looked away and said "You have no idea who much I'd like to do it with you now." She blushed and avoided Mitsuru's eyes. Mitsuru stroke Yukari's hair and leaned closer into the hug again "I'm sure I want to do you more." Yukari seems relieved: "We'll see", she laughed. She put her hands around Mitsuru's head and kissed her collarbone. "But please, let's not rush it, okay? One can only have its first time once, and I want it to be special." Mitsuru was a little surprised – judging from how Yukari touched her, she hadn't expected her to be a virgin. Or did she only mean the first time with her? She didn't dare to ask. Instead she only mumbled in agreement and gave in to Yukari's sweet kisses on her skin. If their first time would be anywhere like this, she thought, it would be special already. With each time Yukari's soft lips touched her, the feeling seemed to grow more divine.

Mitsuru slowly lost her feeling for time. How long had she been here? What time was it? It all lost its meaning to her over the course of their amorous play. She couldn't say when or how it happened, but at some point, the two just had become too tired to continue. They fell asleep in each other's arm, still half-naked. It was as if Mitsuru could feel the warmth of her lover next to her even in her dreams. While they had been haunted the last days, her dreams were full of happiness this night. Mitsuru felt as content as content could be, happily dreaming in the arms of Yukari. This moment was too precious to ever let go of it.

Yukari's alarm clock rang.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Due to a rather intense phase of denial, I left this story unattended for an unholy amount of time. Thanks to all the amzing feedback that I got, I was once again motivated to continue it. Thanks a lot! :)_

**VI**

Dazed and confused, Mitsuru reached for the alarm clock. Was something wrong with it? This wasn't its usual sound and also not its usual position – Mitsuru started to come to her senses. This also wasn't her room.

After a split second of panic, she had collected herself. She remembered the night before: she had set out for Yukari's room all on her own, had woken her up and then they … Mitsuru lowered her head in shame. How utterly uncontrolled of herself. Why had she let her desires take her over like this? It had all seemed so right last night, now it all seemed so wrong.

Mitsuru silently picked up her clothes that were scattered on the bed. She got up very carefully, as to not make a sound and slowly walked to the door. Yukari didn't show any signs of waking up, so Mitsuru continued outside, closing the door behind her with a little sigh. Now she hurried back to her room, it wasn't too early in the morning to be spotted by another inhabitant of the dorm.

Back in her room, Mitsuru put her pyjama ack on. She felt horribly exposed, as if someone had ripped her clothes off on a lively street. With something between a sigh and growl, she let herself fall into her own bed and buried her head between the pillows. Why couldn't she turn invisible now? She didn't feel like facing anyone she knew ever again.

Memories of last night crept into her mind, beautiful and frightening at the same time. Mitsuru didn't fool herself, she was fully aware that at the time it happened, she enjoyed it. Very intensely so. Was this like a hangover? The price you paid in the morning for last night's enjoyment? Or was it that now that she wasn't drunk with desire, with - as much as she hated to admit it - arousal any more, she was able to clearly see and properly judge what happened?

In her head, Mitsuru went over the possible ways of dealing with the situation she was facing. She could try to forget what had happened, although the memory right now was extremely vivid and there was no way to ensure Yukari would forget about it as well. She could try to face her desires that she had lost control of, although this would leave her in a position wide open to emotional hurting. Just having put the death of her father behind herself, Mitsuru was not yet ready for further emotional distress.

What did that leave her with? The only option Mitsuru could still think of was neglect. Maybe if she acted as if the night had been nothing but an incident that didn't require further attention, Yukari wouldn't pursue the matter further. Hopefully, at least. Was there another way out of this? No ideal solution would come to Mitsuru's mind. Not without hesitation, she decided to just sit it out and ignore Yukari for a while. She hoped things would just resolve themselves and go back to normal.

Mitsuru sighed and tried to fall asleep again. She couldn't help regarding her way out of this inner conflict of hers as evidence of incapacity. Then again, this was no matter that she, the heiress of the Kirijo group, should clutter her busy mind with. Burying her head deeper into a pillow, Mitsuru closed her eyes and fell asleep after a while.

When she awoke, bright daylight fell through the windows and everything around her was silent. It had to be noon already, seeing as she had set no alarm, and everyone else was probably at school right now. At least Mitsuru wouldn't have to face any of her dorm mates – for some reason, she didn't feel like dealing with humans right now.

Mitsuru wondered why that was – being around people right now would certainly prove to be a great distraction from her current troubles, both with her father's death and Takeba. But something in her felt almost like she was not up to the task of dealing with her dorm mates, the people that she fought with and that supported her whenever possible. It actually would be beneficial for her to spend more time with them but Mitsuru inexplicably started to doubt her value to the others. They had become largely independent from her, with Arisato taking the leader role and Fuuka providing better support than Mitsuru had been able to.

Did they even need her any more? Her, as a person? Or was she just their key to the Kirijo group's power? Was there a point in fighting on? Mitsuru had been fighting to restore her family's honour, to pay the debt for what her ancestors had done – but now, with the last remains of her family gone, what was there to fight for?

Mitsuru felt terribly ill and empty all of a sudden. She got up and dressed with a sentiment of self-disgust. Without any motivation to do anything, she dragged herself down the stairs and into the kitchen to make tea for herself. Once it was done, she sat down on the sofa with her cup and stared into the hot liquid as if an answer to all her questions and doubts was to be found within it. The recent happenings had left a hole in her and it felt like there was nothing to fill it, like she was slowly becoming hollow.

Mitsuru kept staring into the tea with an expression just as blank as her mind. When she finally decided to take a sip, the tea had gone cold. How long had she been sitting here, sulking over her own uselessness? Had her mind wandered off? She closed her eyes for a split-second and saw an image of Takeba in front of her inner eye.

In a sudden rush of panic, Mitsuru's eyes snapped open. What had that been? How could something like this now, when she was awake and thoughtful, cross her mind? It made no sense at all. Although admittedly, she was in dire need of some distraction from her unproductive sulking, this was an extremely unwanted thought creeping into her consciousness.

She shook her head in an attempt to just shrug off the image that had startled her and got off from the sofa she had slouched upon. With a sudden urge to act determined, she put the rest of the cold tea away and returned to her room.

As she arrived there, she looked around with an insecure expression – what was is that she was so determined to do to? She hadn't attended school in quite a while, so she had no homework to do and the Kirijo group management had not requested her opinion on any urgent matter. There was nothing she really felt she had to do – only something she felt she had to avoid doing.

With a sigh, Mitsuru decided to tidy up and clean her room. She had been inattentive of her room for the better of the time since she returned from her duties with the Kirijo group, leaving it in a for her unusually messy state. Hopefully, tidying up would make her feel more organized. Mitsuru liked her self-image to be that of a woman in complete control of herself, this included her appearance as much as her room.

After some time of cleaning, Mitsuru's room looked as perfect as ever again and she had to admit she was a little proud of herself. At least she wasn't letting herself go completely any more. Unlike she had done last night …

Mitsuru growled at herself. There was no use, she could not get what happened out of her mind. Everything she did was just a means of distracting herself from what her mind was trailing off to, everything she pondered was just an excuse to not address what really bothered her the most.

There was a desire for this other young woman in her, she didn't know where it came from or what its purpose was, she just knew she had a hard time getting it under her control. And Mitsuru didn't like situations that were out of control. To her, uncontrolled situations were just waiting to escalate because of some or other unplanned factor. Especially in this case, there was no way Mitsuru could allow to let such an escalation happen. She had to put this to an end, she had to stop her mind from wandering off to Takeba's room, she had to stop her hands from trembling at the thoughts of Tabeka's smooth skin, she had to get this girl out of her mind. Only how, she didn't know.

What she knew was that the situation she currently was in was unstable at best, it felt like it would only take a tiny action to make Mitsuru get completely off track. She didn't want to enter a whole spiral of emotions, of pleasure and guilt, anxieties and enjoyment right now. There was no way she was up that task, she would just collapse under all those emotions breaking in on her like a flood.

Mitsuru buried her face in her hands as if she could shut out the world and her troubles with this. She felt desperate because there was literally nothing she could think of doing to stop herself from following this desire, to shut it out of her mind for good. A tear ran down her cheek, a tear of anger and despair. Actually, Mitsuru didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream at herself to pull herself together and get things sorted out but the only thing that would come out were helpless tears.

She stood in the middle of her room, sobbing. It had gone dark while she was working in her room and the street lights in front of her window painted a dramatic play of light and shadow onto the scenery.

There was a creaking sound, faint enough to be a product of Mitsuru's imagination but abrupt enough to make her take her hands down and stop sobbing for a moment. Another creaking sound, there was no mistake now that the sound was indeed real. Mitsuru froze in terror as she realised she had let her door unlocked. She didn't dare move a finger as the next creaking sound reached her ear from directly behind her.

Breathing heavily and with eyes wide open from fear, Mitsuru stood completely still and felt her heart pounding in her chest. Then, two hands were slipped onto her hips and something warm touched her back. Instantly, Mitsuru recognized the touch of the hands and the smell of the person behind her – it was Takeba.


	7. Chapter 7

**VII**

Mitsuru did not dare move. Not a finger, not her a tiny twitch of the eye, nothing. Her entire body was frozen but her mind was racing. How to react? The images she had tried to ban from her thoughts now came rushing in with force. There was no use in resistance, inappropriate things were all she could think of.

What was left of her rational thinking fought a desperate fight against her body and large parts of her mind. She could not let happen what everything in her was pushing her to do. It would erase all the clarity with which she asserted the incident between Takeba and her right now. It would make her appear weak-willed and driven by bodily desires. On the other hand, it would also honestly potray what she wanted for once; not what someone wanted her to appear like, wanted her to behave like.

A warm breath brushed upon her neck and interrupted Mitsuru's train of thought. Although she tried to surpress it, Mitsuru's whole body shivered. And much to her terror, it was not an unpleasant shiver. Not at all unpleasant. The rational part of her thinking died down more and more; the images grew in number and intensity.

Mitsuru heard herself sigh and breath more heavily than she ought to. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, moving her neck closer to the source of the warm breath. What was she doing? That was not her will – or was it? Was her rational only emposing something on her that other people taught her, that other people told her to be right? Where did this impression of right and wrong even come from?

The motion of Mitsuru's head did not go unnoticed by Takeba. She tilted her head and slowly let her lips meet with Mitsuru's neck. Mitsuru shivered even more and had to press her teeth together to not let out a moan. This was not good. With every moment, her resolve was weakening and the response of her body to Takeba was strengthening.

Slowly, very slowly, and with extreme caution, Mitsuru lifted her hand that had been hanging lossely by her side. She felt like she was in a trance as she positioned her hand upon that of Yukari which had been resting on her hip. Yukari's skin felt just as soft and warm as Mitsuru had remembered it; she lightly brushed over it before she entwined her fingers around Yukari's.

She could have thought about how weird it was that something as simple as hands put over another could evoke such a feeling in her; she could have continued to battle with herself over whether what she did was right or wrong – but instead, Mitsuru just concentrated on Yukari's fingers in her hand and on how much at home that contact made her feel. Yukari's fingers and hers – it felt like a unit that was meant to be together but had been ripped apart and now that unit was joined again. Mitsuru never wanted to let go of Yukari's hand again; it perfecty fitted into her own and it made her feel all sorts of pleasant things.

Yukari still had said no word; instead, she reacted to their entwined hands by slowly moving her lips up Mitsuru's neck, placing a kiss every half inch on the way up to Mitsuru's jaw. This was a lot, too mch maybe, like the night with Yukari had been. Was this a sign that this incident had not been a mere accident but something that the both of them wanted, the both of them longed for?

The thought drowned when Yukari's kisses reached Mitsuru's jaw line. Thoughts were washed away by this warm, familiar, pleasant feeling that filled Mitsuru's entire body, and washed away by the images that were still increasing in number and intensity. Mitsuru's moral doubts had obviously left her conscious mind, as she now imagined delicatly undressing Yukari and pressing kisses all over her body without regret.

Something in Mitsuru snapped. The dam that had been holding back her desires gave way, collapsed and there was no stopping anymore to her lust. With a releasing moan, she broke loose from Yukari's embrace and quickly turned around. Yukari blinked at her in surprise about Mitsuru's abrupt motion. Mitsuru, though, did not give her a lot time to ask what this meant but instead almost threw herself at Yukari.

She curled her arms tightly around Yukari's slender waist und burried her face in Yukari's shoulder. Everything around her smelled of the other girl, her whole body was in contact with the other girl's body; she could feel how warm Yukari was, and how her body trembled slightly. After a little while of hesitation, Yukari's body seemed to lose tension and she put her arms around Mitsuru's neck. They now stood in a complete, in an intese embrace; each of them consumed in feeling the other with all her senses.

They remained like that for a period of time that Mitsuru could not estimate at all. Yukari's chest slowly raised and lowered as she was breathing, the faint touch of air as she exhaled brushed over Mitsuru's sensitive neck. There was no need to estimate time, no need to move, no need for words. As it was, everything was just perfect for Mitsuru. She felt like she was in an equilibrium she had been out of for a long period of time.

Yukari carefully pulled away from the embrace and looked at Mitsuru. The look on her face was a mixture of puzzled and glowing with happyness. Mitsure was slightly let down by the end of this wonderful embrace but Yukari's rosy cheeks and big round eyes made her smile.

"Senpai," Yukari said hesitatingly "I'm … I'm not sure I understand all this. I mean, you-" Mitsuru cut her off by playfully putting a finger on Yukari's lips. "There is no need to understand. You just need to feel."

Mitsuru moved closer to Yukari to give her a little kiss on the lips. To Mitsuru's surprise, Yukari responded immidiately and the kiss turned into something just as intense as the embrace before. Tracing them up the sides of Yukari's body, Mitsuru moved her hands onto Yukari's shoulders. Once she had a firm grip on them, Mitsuru started pushing Yukari slowly. At first, Yukari reacted surprised and withstood the gentle pressure but when she realised that Mitsuru was actually intending to push her somwhere, she carefully let herself be pushed back.

In a way, Mitsuru admired the trust that Yukari had to have in her to let herself be pushed backwards without any means of seeing what was coming behind her. Mitsuru knew quite well what her goal was, though, and she directly steered against the next wall. Yukari's back met with the wall and now Mitsuru moved her hands from Yukari's shoulders to under her thighs, so she could slightly lift Yukari. Yukari held on to the back of Mitsuru's head as she was pushed up against the wall.

Mitsuru used her body weight to hold Yukari up against the wall and let her fingers explore Yukari's thighs while her lips were exploring Yukari's collar bone. A deep moan from Yukari confirmed Mitsuru in what she was doing, so she continued up Yukari's thighs, to the region where her skirt ended and Mitsuru's hands subtly found a way under the skirt, up to more delicate parts of the thigh. At the back of Mitsuru's head, Yukari was playing with the thick strands of Mitsuru's hair. She slowly removed all the loose strands of hair that hung into Mitsuru's face. Then she laid a finger under Mitsuru's chin and slwoly raised Mitsuru's head.

For a moment, the movement of Mitsuru's hands stopped and they both looked into each other's eyes without saying or moving anything. Yukari then removed her finger from Mitsuru's chin and instead cupped the side of Mitsuru's face in her whole hand. The red-haired girl closed her eyes in delight and smiled. The hand on the one side of Mitsuru's face was soon mirrored by Yukari's other hand, who now had the entire face cupped tightly in her hands.

Although Mitsuru still had her eyes closed, she felt that Yukari was moving in very slowly for a kiss. First, it was just a peck on the forehead, a more intense kiss on the forehead and then a full kiss on the lips. The both of them were so lost in the kiss, they barely took the time to breath anymore because that would have involved breaking their intense contact for a split second.

As they slowly broke the kiss, they looked at each other again. This time, they were both blushed and also breathing more heavily than usual. Mitsuru felt an indescribable rush of happyness and she felt like all she wanted to do now was to tell this woman that she loved her all night long.

Wait – what? Tell her that she, that Mitsuru … loved her? Was that correct? Or was that just caused by the sudden rush of emotion in her chest; that she could not distinguish mere lust and excitement from love anymore? Love was a clean, a noble, an almost holy emotion to her. What they shared now felt somehow dirty to Mitsuru, so unbound, so animalic, so roaring. Right now, Mitsuru thought there could be no better emotion than what she felt right now.

Everything in her body and mind was tingeling, her view had become but a rush of colours and Yukari, the smell of the other girl bewitched her, her ears heard nothing but the heavy, fast breathing of the other girl. She was unbelievably aroused and felt like she was ging to burst into a thousand little pieces if Yukari touched her only a little more.

But could that be love, really? Mitsuru had attributed this rush to mere physical attraction, the fact that her body longed for somebody, longed to be this intimate with someone that she knew she could rely on. It seemed temporary to her – extremely pleasant and stimulating, yes, but still temporal. Like a phase that would be over after her body had discharged her held-back sexual energy.

Love on the other hand – love had always seemed to her like a once-in-a-lifetime chance, something that was more or less eternal once you found it. Something that one had to strife for, something that you could only share with the one person that was made for you. This whatever it was that she shared with Yukari had seemed nothing like that, though.

Yukari had been there for her in times of need, and she had offered to Mitsuru the intimacy she had needed so badly. They were no soul mates, they simply were to friends and fellow SEES members that happened to be able to provide sexual satisfaction for each other. There was no epic tale of them searching each other for half their lives behind them, Yukari had simply come up …

Then it hit Mitsuru. Yukari had come up to her, yes. More than once, even. But what if … what if Yukari actually had been fighting for the chance to make that very move? What if for her, this was not a spontaneous get-together but something she had wanted for a long time? Mitsuru, at least, had been completely oblivious about Yukari taking any interest in her.

Did that mean that Yukari was in love with her? What did that mean for herself? Mitsuru got lost in thought again.

"Is … everything alright?" Yukari asked as she lightly brushed a finger over the face of the pensative Mitsuru.

"Yukari," Mitsuru said, "we need to talk."


End file.
